One-Star Reviews. Five-Star Audacity.

Ah, this is sure to be relatable content for anyone who has ever survived the 2-yr deathtrap of early startup and business.~ You go on long enough, you’ll eventually run into some of these interesting situations nobody thought to warn you of— or even openly discuss.

You spent months or years conceptualizing, funding, and building your business. On the outside, it may not look like much is happening, but you crash into bed each night all the same. You’re doing well for months, maybe years, nailing things down and delivering exceptional-everything.
Then it finally hits— someone dislikes you, personally, and made it your whole business’ problem.

I have NEVER attempted corporate, cold, “professional” branding or voice, as you can see from as early as 2012, when my very first fan-banner was ever made for me when I had first started modeling as a first-time preggo person. Photos by me, graphic by Under the Sea Designs/Christina Sea.

The Review Randos

The phenomenon of internet strangers mobbing small businesses isn’t new, but the reasons and methods have certainly become more distant from the original purpose of reviews.

One-star business reviews can be effective when a bunch of folks come together to get a business to change a deeply problematic policy, address the platforming of a harmful product or person, or respond to an outcome that has harmed others. It’s a solid way to get a corporation (you know, the guys you cannot find an email or phone number for, where you get a useless chatbot instead) to hear the people. For folks who “care about your experience,” they sure don’t make it simple to get any help with their stuff, eh?
Using one-star reviews as your personal go-to “solution” for unrelated personal beef is abusive and can violate platform terms of use. Knowingly posting false “factual” claims can also have legal consequences. A personal grudge doesn't magically become a legitimate customer experience just because you found the review button.

Despite some people's best raging, individuals simply aren't their businesses.

The irony in this thinking is that the blurring of person and business has a long history in corporate law. Beginning well before the late 1800s and continuing through cases like Citizens United in 2010, corporations have gained legal protections associated with personhood, including protections for certain forms of political expression and spending. Yet the smallest businesses are often expected to operate with corporate-level polish while being treated as fair game whenever someone has a personal problem with the owner.

When you get a flood of one-star reviews, it's worth considering what they're saying and whether you need to make changes to your process or end product. You cannot report reviews just because you dislike the feedback; but when you're hit with those solo, scammy-seeming, vague, irrelevant one-stars, go ahead and hit those dots for the Report button.

We already work SO fucking hard to make our businesses happen— don't stress about the randoms. Things can wash out in time! It took TWO YEARS for Google to remove a fake one-star review that had been posted before I ever even opened my doors or web shop. Another was removed within the month. Report what genuinely violates the platform's policies, provide whatever evidence you have, and be prepared to wait. Unfortunately, there is no guaranteed timeline.

If you're someone who enjoys a good one-star sucker punch, delete it when you cool off— or at least make sure you're describing a genuine experience and can substantiate the claims you're making.~
Be honest and real in your takedowns, and they might actually accomplish something useful.

Social Media

The hotspot for small-business drama— any given social media platform.

As we've learned over the last few years, the internet is increasingly difficult to navigate without running into automated accounts, coordinated engagement, and content designed to provoke a reaction. The Dead Internet Theory isn't a literal description of everything happening online, but the underlying concerns about bots, manufactured engagement, and the manipulation of public conversation are worth taking seriously.

Recent reports about attacks on Russian data-center infrastructure have also prompted discussion about how dependent online platforms are on the systems behind them. I'd be careful about attributing any immediate change in online toxicity to those events without solid evidence, but the broader question remains: how much of the outrage we encounter online is organic, and how much is being amplified or manufactured?

Of course, bots aren't responsible for everything. Actual human beings engage directly with businesses in hateful ways, too.
And there is nuance here, because many business Founders and Owners are online as themselves— humans with hobbies, families, fears, health swings, and so-on.

For some people, disliking the owner becomes enough to discredit the entire business. Suddenly the products must be terrible, the services must be questionable, and the whole operation deserves to suffer. An opinion expressed on a personal account becomes grounds for encouraging strangers to boycott a business that has never done anything to them.
But if that same owner tries to address what is happening, they're expected to remain perfectly composed, avoid offending anyone, and demonstrate extraordinary professionalism while dealing with the consequences.

Now, imagine being any sort of minority peoples or lifestyles…. on top of all of that!

There's an expectation that small-business owners should be authentic enough to attract customers, but impersonal enough never to make anyone uncomfortable. Pearls are clutched if cussing is part of our brand (and personal) voice.
We are encouraged to build a recognizable identity, share our stories, get raw, and develop relationships with our audiences, then we’re sometimes punished for being recognizable people with opinions and lives outside the shop.

I find that contradiction fascinating.~

You can dislike someone, disagree with them, and decide that their personality, opinions, hobbies, or general existence aren't for you. You're under no obligation to be their friend, follow their personal accounts, buy their products, or support their work.
What you cannot reasonably expect is for your personal dislike to automatically become a legitimate indictment of everything myself or other Founders build.~

A business should be judged on its own practices, products, services, and treatment of its customers. An owner's personal conduct can absolutely be relevant when it affects those things, but relevance matters.

There is a difference between holding someone accountable for harmful, toxic behavior and looking for ways to make every aspect of their life suffer because you don't like them.

Not liking someone for being weird, eccentric, quiet, introvert, loud, passionate, or trying to connect with you is also likely ableism against neurodivergent folk, but we’ll talk more on that in another blog update!

Performative Allyship

One BIG thing I have personally found particularly disappointing is watching people loudly proclaim their support for queer folks, disabled folks, and other marginalized communities, only to turn around and withdraw that support the moment one of us falls short of their expectations.

It's easy to call yourself an ally when the people you're supporting are agreeable, say all the right things, and never make you uncomfortable. It takes considerably more integrity to educate yourself about the stigmas, barriers, and very real struggles these communities face, and to recognize that the people within them are still human beings: imperfect, complicated, capable of mistakes, and deserving of fairness and basic decency.

When someone is speaking on their pain or confronting another person for their behavior or treatment of them, it’s not your place to determine what judgement you should make about those involved. It’s exhausting existing as a queer, disabled person— even as a veteran that receives no assistance— and being an advocate on top of it, WHILE dealing with performative allies piling on.
Typically, you find that you’re being attacked by people wearing allyship as a pass to excuse treating YOU, the marginalized, like shit. Allyship doesn’t put you on our level, you don’t understand disability or queerness just because you know our jargon and keep a token human as a voucher for (you imagine it’s “against”) your ignorance. These people have never attended a protest or a march, they definitely aren’t donating to your causes, but because they’re not openly bigoted, they use “allyship” to trojan horse their way into your space and weaponize it as weight for their opinion (judgement) in the matter.

Supporting queer and marginalized people means very little if that support disappears the moment you dislike someone's personality, disagree with their opinions, or decide they haven't behaved the way you think someone in their position should. When that disappointment becomes an excuse to rally others against their business, damage their reputation, or threaten their livelihood, it's worth asking whether that allyship was ever more than performative to begin with.
There was a quote I cannot locate, it was on a post: “If you’re not standing close enough to get hit with the bullets, you’re not a true ally.” Allyship is not verbal support and liking posts; it’s giving your resources to the cause. Giving resources= money, time, sweat, effort, materials, connections, platforms, etc. Facebook likes and shares aren’t allyship, and bandwagoning onto someone’s drama is definitely not allyship.
Marginalized folk can make mistakes, lash out, and come off all types of ways— but you need to have ALL the facts before doing or saying something that could hurt someone/their community, or get you into platform, career, and/or legal trouble. When you’re not sure, don’t speak on it. ASK the person you have concerns about what’s going on, rather than trying to convince yourself all the info is in one spot, public, and conveniently accessible to you.

Allyship that only exists when it's easy, comfortable, and convenient isn't much of an allyship at all.

Accountability Is Not the Same Thing as Retaliation

I want to make something clear, because I don't believe in creating a world where businesses can do whatever they please without consequence!

Negative reviews and public criticism serve a genuine purpose. If a company sells dangerous products, deceives its customers, mistreats vulnerable people, or repeatedly refuses to address problems that cause harm, consumers should be able to speak up. Collective action can be especially important when dealing with large corporations that have made themselves nearly impossible to reach through ordinary customer-service channels.
Sometimes, a coordinated public response is precisely what gets a legitimate problem addressed.

The difference is that the criticism should be connected to the problem, and relevant to the business. People should be able to explain what happened, identify the practice they're challenging, and give others enough information to make their own informed decisions.

When the goal shifts from correcting harmful behavior to punishing a person for an unrelated dispute, the entire exercise changes. A review campaign becomes a personal vendetta dressed up as public accountability, and once a pile-on begins, the original facts can become almost irrelevant. People repeat what they've heard, assumptions become accepted as evidence, and the sheer number of people expressing the same opinion creates the illusion that everyone independently reached that conclusion.
A hundred people repeating one person's unverified claim are not a hundred independent witnesses.

This matters beyond the individual business being targeted as well! When review platforms become extensions of personal feuds, consumers lose confidence in the information they're using to make decisions. Genuine warnings become harder to distinguish from retaliation, and the people who actually need those warnings have less reliable information to work with.

We should be able to criticize businesses, without abandoning the basic responsibility to tell the truth.

Having your business attacked for irrelevant or even false issues is a lot like being called a fat whale when you’ve been modeling and dealing with wannabe-metamours for years— it’s boring, old, elementary, and so provably false that you wonder if they’re envious. Photo by Tyler Ishee, 2018.

What You Can Actually Do About It

If you're a small-business owner dealing with unfair reviews or online harassment, document what is happening before you respond in the heat of the moment. Save screenshots, keep relevant communications, and report content that violates the platform's policies. If other people independently encounter the same issue, they can make their own honest reports rather than joining a retaliatory campaign. Try not to let the situation consume every spare hour you have. You still have a business to run, customers to serve, and a life that exists outside the internet!

If you're on the other side of the situation— if you're angry with a business owner or tempted to leave a devastating review or blow up a thread because of a personal disagreement— take a breath before you hit submit.
Ask yourself whether the issue concerns an actual transaction, a service you received, a safety concern, or some other legitimate aspect of the business. If it does, describe your experience honestly. If the issue is personal, consider whether a review is an appropriate way to address it at all.

You can walk away from someone. You can choose not to support their business. You can explain your own experiences and set boundaries. You can report genuinely harmful conduct through the appropriate channels.

You have options that don't involve manufacturing a customer complaint, or feigning previous engagement. It’s much easier when it’s real and relevant, rather than trying to discover a molecule of dirt— or invent one.

Back to Building

The early years of a small business are hard enough without having to spend your time untangling someone else's personal drama and inability to communicate with you. You're already learning your market, managing your finances, finding customers, developing products, and figuring out how to make the whole operation sustainable.

For those of us working in niche industries, there's often another challenge: finding the people who understand what we're doing and are genuinely excited about it. Our audiences may be smaller, our resources more limited, and our work more closely tied to our personal interests than the average corporate product line.
This is also what makes independent businesses valuable! We create things that wouldn't necessarily exist otherwise, serve communities that larger companies overlook, and bring a little more variety into the world.
I want to see more people build things! I want to see people experiment, create, make mistakes, learn, and find their audiences. I want people to feel like they can put something of themselves into their work without having to prepare for every personal disagreement to become a public referendum on their livelihood.

That doesn't mean every business deserves five stars, but it DOES mean the stars should reflect something meaningful and based in reality.

My own reviews have finally been sorted out, and my biz is back to its five-star rating. (I'm glad the issue was resolved, even if one review took so long to get there!)
The old gal that started an unrelated public heckle campaign against me just this past summer had lost her dream career over it— and my clients and friends that witnessed it, checked on me. I got to see in the heat of the moment that I had supporters in our community that stood by me when I knew I was not reacting well to the situation. (THANK YOU SO MUCH! All the love to each of you!)

Not every spam review or dash of drama ends poorly, and the end result is on your side when you’ve been minding your own, keeping it real against the adversity, and/or maintaining the evidence that it’s undeserved and irrelevant to your operation.
Take your actionable steps, go for a jog, soak in the tub, and trust that Truth will (eventually) prevail.

Leave honest reviews, speak up when something genuinely goes wrong, hold businesses accountable when they deserve it, and give independent owners the same basic fairness or compassion you'd expect for yourself— including on your worst days.
Leave the random threads and forums of your beef for the private and direct messages, where it belongs. Don’t make wild and unsubstantiated claims on someone and what they’ve built just because you didn’t Google a few free coping and communication tips.

It’s always fine to go back and clean up a mess you’ve made! Late is better than never, and it’s a huge thing to apologize when you goofed up bad enough to lose a job over your soap opera.

And if you're going to leave a one-star review after genuine consideration, at least make it a review worth reading. ;]